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6/29/16

Watch this perfect parody of Ken Block's Gymkhana videos

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YouTube channel Car Bros have crafted a spot on parody of Ken Block's infamous Gymkhana videos. The group hoons a Honda Civic wagon, poking fun and paying homage to the original.

Continue reading Watch this perfect parody of Ken Block's Gymkhana videos

Watch this perfect parody of Ken Block's Gymkhana videos originally appeared on Autoblog on Wed, 29 Jun 2016 09:15:00 EDT. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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5 Productivity Tips For Lazy People

So I am actually writing this blog for future me - the very near 'future me'. After 4th of July weekend I tend to go into lazy summer mode. By August, even an ounce of motivation is a big struggle. All I want to do is relax and let my brain go on vacay.

But I've got stuff to do, so I push through the laziness to accomplish at least the minimum.

With laziness, comes procrastination. In my procrastination blog, we address the root of the problem. And while that is the most sustainable fix, what if you're just going through a phase of laziness? (A.k.a. summer!)

Almost all of us have personal and professional demands that we can't always but on hold. So here are my quick tips on how to be productive when you're feeling downright lazy:

1. What's my motivation?
Aaahh like a professional actor channeling his character: "What's my motivation"? Maybe we're actors too. Just lazy folks acting like we have an ounce of ambition on days when we feel like binge-watching Empire. Alright, not quite, but what is your motivation? Perhaps maintaining or improving your lifestyle, getting a job promotion, making things easier, etc?

Call on your motivation when you need it. I refer to my vision board a lot during the summer months as a visual reminder of what I'm working toward.

2. Rewards
There are so many ways of doing this! For example, let's say you complete one important task each day, and at the end of the week you reward yourself. Structure it any way that works for you. And you can also bring in an accountability partner to check in with and disburse your reward if you want to.

3. Schedule time to focus
What if you had only one thing to do, and nothing else mattered except that one thing? Would you get it done? Here is what I propose:

Step 1, choose your highest priority and schedule some time to work on it, whether completing a portion or the whole thing.

Next, cancel out distractions by taking care of them beforehand. For example, eat if your hungry, make sure your kids are attended to, quiet your phone, etc. Once you get involved in your project, recognize other distractions as just that - distractions - and let them go. If it's not an emergency, you can get to everything else afterward.

Lastly, focus and work on your project until your time is up.

Repeat as often as necessary.

I kind of want to guarantee success with this approach. Even if you take baby steps, consistently, they add up to advancement.

4. Add to your daily habits
My morning looks something like this: brush teeth, workout, shower, breakfast, appointment scheduling. Oh look - you see how I just threw that last one in there?! If you have any repetitive tasks, add them to your cluster of 'tried & true' habits, such as you morning routine. You will likely find that it requires less effort because you're already on a roll and getting things done out of habit.

5. Never say "later", "at some point", "another day" or "some other time"
Switch out those phrases with actual dates. I learned this several years ago when I had a gargantuan storage unit to sort through. For two years, I had been telling a friend about this task looming over my head. I always said I would get to it. Finally she told me to give her a specific date. Which I did and of course had to stick to it otherwise it would probably never get done.

Ever since then, I always say a specific date or time frame when referring to a task because it's important to me to live up to my word.

So try this: replace those indefinite timeframes with very specific dates. Bonus points if you put the deadline in your calendar!

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ADVICE 27: Should I Tell My Crush How I Feel?

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Photo Credit: Brent Stoller



To send in a question, please complete this short Google form. All submissions are anonymous, even to the author.

*****


(Questions have been modified for space and clarity.)

I am 15 and studying at a boarding school in Edinburgh. My school is all boys, so we have socials with girls' schools sometimes. At one of the socials, I went along with my friend and sat at the same table as him. His girlfriend was at the table and a few of her friends were there too.

It was meant to be a quiz night and a disco, but I couldn't concentrate on anything during the social, or even after on the way back. My whole mind was occupied with this one girl that I saw.

Her name is Jenny. From the first second we sat down at the table, I had my eyes set on her. I couldn't stop thinking about her and even when I was back at the school, all I could think about was her.

I had the number of my friend's girlfriend...we used to chat quite a bit. We eventually started speaking about Jenny and I managed to get Jenny's details.

I texted Jenny and we spoke for a bit, but I must've done something wrong, because after that, she made it clear -- or at least that was how I saw it -- that she didn't like me. She hasn't texted me since, and I always feel like sending her a message or telling her something, but I never end up doing it, not knowing what to say and feeling nervous.

We recently had another social. As I walked in, I passed her, and although I tried to avoid her, thinking that she doesn't like me, I couldn't resist looking at her. I am sure she looked back at me, and I feel like she looked over at me a few times throughout the event.

I really want to speak to her and tell her how I feel, but I don't know how or what to do. I always think about her, and this is driving me crazy. Please help me.

--Confused; Edinburgh, Scotland, United Kingdom

I'm happy to (try to) help you, because I've been you.

There's just one thing you said that I can't shake: "She made it clear -- or at least that was how I saw it -- that she didn't like me."

What exactly did she do? And are you sure you interpreted whatever she did correctly?

Having been in your situation, I know that when you're infatuated with a girl, part of you never believes that the girl could share your interest. You muster the courage to talk to her, but inside, you're always bracing, convinced that rejection is coming. So you process everything she does (or doesn't do) through that negative prism. I'm wondering if that's what you're doing here.

It's very possible that Jenny is not into you. She might have even come out and said it. If that's the case, you have to respect her feelings.

At most, you could let her know how you feel nonconfrontationally, like in an email or text, a message-in-a-bottle sort of thing. This would allow you to express yourself without putting her in too awkward a position. Just make it clear that you expect nothing from her in return.

On the other hand, there are some indicators that all might not be lost. For one, Jenny authorized her friend to give you her number. Girls don't do that unless they're at least open to hearing a guy's sales pitch.

And I wouldn't put too much stock in the fact that she hasn't texted you. It's possible she's waiting for you to take the lead again.

Also, at the second social, she was maybe/possibly looking in your direction on multiple occasions. Was she looking at you because she was worried you might be looking back? Or because she was hoping you were?

Hard to tell. One resource you could consult is your friend's girlfriend. She's close enough to Jenny to be giving out Jenny's phone number, meaning she might be privy to inside info.

Of course, you don't strike me as the type who needs a middle man. You've got Jenny's phone number, so why not use it?

There's no need to do anything dramatic, like professing your love for her or telling her that she's all you think about. That's only going to scare her off.

Instead, take things slowly, and let her dictate the pace of interaction. Send her a "How's it going?" text and see what happens.

Nobody knows what's truly going on here, which is why I think it's worth further investigation. And while the prospect of rejection can be terrifying, if you do decide to contact Jenny, what's the worst that can happen? That you end up in the same spot you're in now?

COMING FRIDAY: Talking Politics

Need more ADVICE? Check out the most recent installments:

ADVICE 26: Surviving a Long-Distance Relationship

ADVICE 25: I'm Dating a Married Man

ADVICE 24: Love Hurts

ADVICE 23: Loyalty, Jessup and A Few Good Men

ADVICE 22: The Two-Pronged Approach to Handling Stress

ADVICE 21: The Pitfalls of Infatuation

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5 Grooming Moves You Need To Make Before Wearing A Tank Top

FX Debuts A Devilish Logo For 'American Horror Story' Season 6


Something questionable this way comes. 


FX has released the first image from the upcoming sixth season of "American Horror Story," and it's a head-scratcher. Up until now, the network has been highly secretive regarding the theme of the newest installment, leaving fans to speculate what kinds of horrors Season 6 will hold. 


On Tuesday, the logo for the new season appeared on FX's social media accounts. The black and red image features an amalgam of a red question mark and the number six. Ready, set, theorize! 



Could the logo be hinting at a devilish direction for Season 6? C'mon, the red, the number 6 and the possibility of Lady Gaga serving up couture Lucifer creations ... 


If "American Horror Story" does decide to dive into the depths of hell for the new season, we'd be remiss not to at least mention how well-suited former series star Jessica Lange would be for the part. Just imagine the monologues. 


But Lange put the nail in the proverbial "AHS" coffin during a recent interview with Charlie Rose, explaining that she has no plans to return. 


“No, I had four years with that, four seasons, and each year was a marvelous character,” she said. “Everything changed from one year to another which made it very interesting to me. But no, I think sometimes you come to the end of something."


Series creator Ryan Murphy, however, extended a blanket invite to most of his roster of stars, including Finn Wittrock, Cheyenne Jackson, Wes Bentley, Matt Bomer, Angela Bassett, Denis O’Hare, Kathy Bates and Sarah Paulson, at a PaleyFest panel in March. 


"I will tell you that every darling person up here that wants to come back can come back," he said.

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A Plague Of Joy -- 100 Crickets Loose In My Kitchen

So here we are. As much as we all willed it not to come back around, Monday morning is here again.

None of us are very happy about it, that's for sure. I just began to write out a list of examples to support that statement, but what's the point? We're all on the same page.

We don't like Mondays.

I bet if I went on some of your Facebook pages right now, I'd find some colourful statements expressing that sentiment. I've got this one friend where that's a certainty.

She complains about everything. Work is terrible. Traffic is a drag. The weather is too cold. No wait. Too hot. Why doesn't this place have Wi-Fi?

She'll always find something. Every day. She's very good at it.

Sometimes it seems like she's taking life too seriously, and it's drained all the joy that she should be savouring. She gets into a bad mood that's hard to shake, her negativity like a bear trap clamped around her ankle.

I'm not judging her or anything. I used to be a lot like her, until one ludicrous event changed everything.

This was years ago, when my sons were still little. It was Friday at the end of a really, really long week. Mike and I were going to have friends over for dinner and a glass or two of wine. Definitely two.

Just before I got home, Mike texted me to say that he had to stay late at work. I was now on my own to get everything ready for tonight.

Already running really late myself, I could feel the frustration brewing as I drove to pick up Haydn and Michael from school.

I rushed them into the car and informed them that we were making a few stops before heading home, and that they needed to help me tidy the house.

Both of them started whining immediately.

I turned and pointed a threatening finger at them, gave them fair warning that I was not in the mood to listen.

They crossed their arms and sulked. Michael even whispered under his breath, "this sucks!"

For the next hour I dragged the boys from one place to the next. The more I needed them to hurry, the more distracted and silly they became.

I told them to cut it out, but they didn't seem to hear me that day. My patience was wearing thin.

Just as we finished our last errand, the boys reminded me that we needed to stop at the pet store to pick up crickets for their bearded dragons. I promised, they said.

And they were right. I had. But in the frenzy of the day, I'd completely forgotten.

"Fine, but we need to be fast," I said, and we raced to the pet shop.


Fifteen minutes later, we were back in the car with some new passengers. One hundred live crickets in a clear bag.

I pulled into the driveway with only 45 minutes left to unpack the car, clean the house, and set the table before my guests arrived. I wasn't sure I was going to make it.

I started barking orders at the boys like a drill sergeant, but all they were focused on was pouring the crickets out from the plastic bag and into the top of their little cricket keeper thing.

My annoyance started to soar, and I yelled at them to hurry up, but to do so carefully.

I don't really know what happened, but the next time I looked up, a hundred crickets were jumping all over my kitchen, chirping chaotically, suddenly everywhere.

I screamed and scrambled up onto a chair to get away from them.

My frustration exploded, and rage suddenly gripped my senses. I could feel myself about to start yelling in a way I rarely do.

But then the most amazing thing happened. As I watched Haydn and Michael frantically trying to capture the crickets, it was like time slowed down, and I saw the situation clearly for the first time.

My sons were running around like lunatics, screaming with laughter.

I can only describe it as pure joy, and it was an amazing thing to watch.

In that split second I realized I had two choices. I could continue feeling annoyed and angry, or I could just let go and enjoy this ridiculous moment for what it was.

I chose joy.

Laughing uncontrollably, I jumped off the chair and started chasing crickets with the boys. They were everywhere! Every time we tried to put a cricket into the keeper, another one would jump out. It was like a comedy routine. We squealed with excitement and pretty much had the time of our lives.

It took us about fifteen minutes to get all of the little guys into their box. Once we were done, my boys enthusiastically helped me get ready for the dinner. We were all in such a fabulous mood.

Mike got home with ten minutes to spare. Anticipating the cold shoulder for leaving me to deal with everything myself, he was pleasantly surprised to hear about our cricket adventure.

We had a great dinner party, and for weeks after I could still hear chirping from some crickets that had evaded capture. It always made me giggle.

That moment is a constant reminder to me that I should never let frustration take away from being happy and enjoying life.

We can all get stuck in a negative rut from time to time. It's easy. Things go wrong, and there's nothing we can do about that. But we do have the power of deciding how we're going to react to things, and how we're going to let them make us feel.

Next time you're feeling that negativity bubbling up inside of you, just chill, take a few deep breaths, and try to think of something that makes you happy. You'll find something if you just try. Wouldn't you rather laugh than complain?

Choose to be happy. Choose joy.

You can start by cherishing every moment of this beautiful Monday.

Written by Heidi Allen -- Founder of the Positive People Army

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Ocean State Of Mind, Volume 2: One Road

"Barrington? You can't live in Barrington," my father-in-law said matter-of-factly when my husband, Brett, and I announced where, in the vast state of Rhode Island, we would be buying a home. He shook his head back and forth like, you idiots.

I was surprised by his response. After all, we were moving from Scarsdale, New York to Somewhere, Rhode Island - his home state! My father-in-law lives in Cranston, a central location in the smallest state in the Union, and therefore was bound to be no more than 30 or so minutes from wherever we decided to live.

In New York, you can live in Albany, which is two hours from Syracuse, which is two hours from Buffalo, which is six hours from Manhattan. And don't even get me started on how far away Montauk is on a Friday during the summer.

Which is why I thought my father-in-law would be happy with our choice of Barrington. But no.

Moving on. We told Brett's uncle our plan.

"Barrington? You can't live in Barrington!" He said, echoing not only his brother's disdainful tone of voice but also his somewhat perturbed facial expression. They really do look alike, those two.

"Why the heck not?" I asked. "Why can't we move to Barrington?" I said to an entire room full of Gerstenblatts. They all live here, you see. Most never left. And Brett was moving back after living in New York for the past 20 years, bringing with him a very New York-centric wife and two Yorker-ish kids.

The Gerstenblatt clan seemed excited that we were coming to Rhode Island. Until we picked the wrong town in which to settle.

"You can't live in Barrington because there's only one road in and one road out," Brett's father explained, semi-patiently, as if talking to semi-idiots. Brett's uncle (and aunt, sister, other aunt, other uncle, brother-in-law, etc and etc) nodded in agreement.

Ah, the dreaded Route 114, commonly known by its Native American name, the Wampanoag Trail. ("Wampanoag" translates into "One Road, Idiot," in my Cranston-to-Barrington dictionary.) On a map, the peninsula connecting Barrington to Providence juts out to the east and continues southward, with the vein of the Wampanoag Trail running down the length of it like a urethra through a ...oh, you get the picture.

Now, let me ask you this. It's a serious question. Can any one person, in any given moment in time, travel on more than one road? And, if the answer is no, then how many roads did I need, in Barrington, or anywhere else in life, really?

And, the not-quite-ready-to-leave New Yorker in me reasoned, since no road in Rhode Island would take me quickly to my favorite diner in Scarsdale to meet my best friend for a last-minute lunch date, what did it matter if it was The Wampanoag Trail or the Yellow Brick Road? In my forties, the road of life took my metaphorical SUV on an unplanned journey. I held on to the steering wheel for dear life. Assessing the damage and finding only small injuries, I brushed myself off and course-corrected. An internal compass pointed us towards Barrington, a charming, coastal New England town with great schools and friendly people. It's not like my conscience was telling me to kill fluffy bunnies, right? My life had diverged in a yellow wood, and I had picked the Wampanoag Trail.

So. With family still peeved at us for deciding not to live in the many-roaded West Bay, Brett and I went through a home inspection and booked a painter for the month of July.

Then I got the call. "Hi," I said, seeing the caller ID with my father-in-law's name as I picked up the phone in my home office.

"Hey," Steve said, "I just went by your house."

I got up from my desk chair and glanced out the window, to the Scarsdale street below and the pretty meadow beyond. Ah, I was going to miss that meadow.

"My house?" I asked, dumbly.

"Yeah, in Barrington."

"Oh!" And then, "You did? Why?" Worry hit my gut. "Are you going to, like, do that all the time?"

Part of why I was moving to the East Bay was because of the rumor that people from the West Bay never came into the East Bay. Too far, they said. One road, they agreed. But my father-in-law just had! He had swung by! And I wasn't even living there yet! This did not bode well for my need for Space. I was accustomed to having Connecticut as a buffer state; now I would only have a rinky-dink bridge.

"I've got great news!" Steve continued. "There's another road!"

"Another road?" I said, leaning back in my desk chair, a smile creeping across my face. "You mean - beyond the Wampanoag Trail? No way."

"Yes, yes! I didn't realize you lived out in West Barrington. You've got a road here called Washington. Takes you right in and out."

"Another road, one that goes both in and out?" I said. "You're kidding me."

"Nah!"

"You're pulling my leg!"

"No!"

"You mean, when the apocalypse hits and the tides ride and there's no food in the East Bay and the zombies start eating people and I have to flee, I don't have to take Route 114 for evacuation?"

"Huh?" He said. And then, not skipping a beat, he continued his report. "Also, where's your mailbox? I don't think you have a mailbox."

I thanked Steve and hung up. "Of course we have a mailbox," I said to Brett that night. "Who doesn't have a mailbox?"

July. Barrington. Two roads. No mailbox. On Day 6 without mail, I figured out how to get from my house to the Ace hardware store to purchase a metal box. And now, two years later, I am proud to report that I know my way around the area pretty well. I can get to Seekonk. I can get to the Providence Place Mall and the Warwick Mall and Garden City and all three of the West Bay Whole Foods locations. You know how I go? On the Wampanoag Trail. And every time - every, single, godforsaken time - I secretly, silently, shamefully curse it.

One damned road.

Just don't tell that to my in-laws.

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How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness

by Terri Trespicio

We all have goals that seem just out of reach. Eat healthier. Exercise more. Lose weight. Go to bed earlier. No matter how much we say we want to do, have, or achieve it, it just keeps...not happening.

This is perhaps one of the most perplexing mysteries of human behavior.

It's not just about health-oriented goals, either. It could be anything--from starting a side business to writing a book to cooking or drawing more. Seth Godin calls it "the resistance." Food and lifestyle blogger Darya Rose calls it the "I don't feel like it fallacy" (and writes about how it derails her own cooking efforts). Whatever you choose to call it, it plagues us all. But it doesn't have to be this way!

Here are the steps for getting past it.

Step 1: Resist the urge to label yourself
It's one thing to experience friction around a goal or new habit. But it's another to slap a short, pejorative label on ourselves when we have an imperfect day. We say things like, "I'm lazy," "I'm unmotivated," "I have no willpower," or worst of all, "I'm incapable."

None of these things are true. But if you settle for the label, you undermine your efforts and beat yourself up in the process, heading into a downward spiral of shame and guilt. Resist the urge label yourself a failure, and, instead, find out why you're struggling with this particular habit.

Step 2. Channel your inner three-year-old
When you feel your momentum slowing and your energy flagging, ask why. And then ask why again--like a toddler (if you have one, I don't need to tell you how this works).

So, let's take the classic example: "I don't feel like working out."

Why? "Because I'm tired."

Why are you tired? "Because I work a lot and have been having trouble sleeping."

Why do you have trouble sleeping?
"Because I'm stressed."

Why? "Because I feel like I have no time to do what I want to do."

Okay! Now we're getting somewhere.

Step 3: Identify the BIG why
You have a handle now on why you don't want to exercise and where the excuses are coming from. So let's pan out to the wide shot:

Why did you want to exercise in the first place? "Because I don't like how I look and or feel."

Why? "Because I've gained a few pounds and feel out of shape."

And so why do you want to exercise? "Because I look at other people who exercise and they seem so fit and energized. I want to be like that."

So why can't you be that person? "Because"--and here it comes-- "I don't want to be the most out of shape person in the class or running through the park. I'm afraid I can never be one of those fit, happy people."

See how this line of thinking shuts off any possibility of growth? The research is clear: our mindsets matter. If we don't believe we are capable or worthy of success, our motivation falters.

Step 4: Question the belief
Rather than swallow your own excuses whole, question them. Look at them as you would anything you're dubious about.

Follow up your "why" with "who says?" Who says you can't find a little time each week to move your body? Who says it has to be in a gym? Who says you can't be fit and happy?

Once you identify the false belief, you can see through it to the fear. Becoming aware of this fear is the first step towards conquering it.

Step 5: See beyond the feelings
Look, we all have our moments when we don't feel like doing something, whether it's writing a book or folding laundry. But you do not have to be governed by an emotional response. Because emotions pass, and once they do, there you are, in your life again. Of course, you deserve the things you want most. And there's no reason you can't have them.

The key to establishing habits that support your goals is knowing why you're doing it and that you can do it in a way that works in your life, not some other life you wish you had. And when you understand the whys and why nots, everything starts to shift. Just watch.

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What Brexit Means For The Oceans

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Last week, voters in the United Kingdom narrowly voted to leave the European Union. The national referendum, dubbed "Brexit," had an immediate, negative impact on global markets and raised significant doubts about the future of the European Union. But whether or not one supported Brexit (Oceana took no position on the referendum), the exit of Britain from Europe is creating new uncertainties for ocean conservation.

The European Union has a Common Fishery Policy (CFP), meaning that the countries of the EU administer and regulate their fisheries as a cohesive whole. By catch weight (as reported to the FAO from 2005-2014), the 28 country EU ranks as the third largest ocean fishing entity in the world. It's also the single largest global market for fisheries and aquaculture products. The development of the CFP therefore represents one of the world's biggest policy achievements in ocean conservation. European oceans will be scientifically managed because of the CFP, with the EU prioritizing responsible policies focused on the long-term viability of European fisheries.

In the past, the UK's citizens have been constructive allies in the European battle for sustainable fishery policy. "Hugh's Fish Fight" -- a campaign by UK chef, broadcaster and campaigner Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, is one example of this. The campaign generated nearly a million (mostly British) signatures on a petition to stop fish discards. Aghast at the extent of wasted catch in European fisheries, "Hugh's Fish Fight" and the citizen activism it inspired helped lead to Europe's ban on discards.

Domestically, the CFP will no longer apply in the UK after Brexit, and it is unclear what might replace it. The Leave campaign used CFP and fisheries in general as an example of how the EU has been a destructive force for the UK. Nigel Farage, the former commodity broker who leads the UK Independence Party, staged a protest against the EU onboard commercial fishing vessels, sailing up the Thames to be photographed by the Houses of Parliament the week before the vote. At the same time, a very vocal part of the fishing industry supported Leave and will now likely try to weaken ocean protections, rejecting scientific fishing regulations as relics of the despised -- and now rejected -- EU bureaucracy.

Britain's planned departure from the European Union creates uncertainty about the future of shared fish stocks and ocean ecosystems. The UK will have to negotiate new terms for its fisheries with the EU and with other countries in whose waters they are currently fishing.

The UK's exit from the European Union will likely take years to complete, and the path forward is uncertain. However, whatever the future of the United Kingdom, I can assure you that the campaigners, advocates, scientists and leaders at Oceana will continue to push for the policies we need to restore healthy European oceans.

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What Happens When You Stop Fighting Change

Stop Fighting Change

It's cliché but true: The only constant is change. Look at nature. It's never still. Even rocks, given geological time, move.

Or look at kids. One minute they are cute babies, the next they are cute but challenging toddlers, and so on. The rule applies to us all: A glance in the mirror reminds us that we aren't the same person as yesterday. What if we embraced that?

I recently visited Manhattan's Lower East Side, where my grandfather J.I. Rodale grew up. Where there were Jewish tenements, there's now a school. His synagogue is now a community center. As I watched my daughter at a playground there, I imagined that when J.I. was a child, he played in the same space. Back then, it was probably just a muddy field surrounded by flowering trees. Everything has changed. That's okay. We think we want things to stay the same. But the truth is, stability can get boring. I believe what we really want is to learn and grow.

I often refer to Darwin when it comes to change. In his theory of evolution, he was talking about the ability to adapt. That's an important trait. I've found that when I stop fighting change, the real living starts. Then each moment is an opportunity to appreciate what's happening now. My kid is climbing on the jungle gym; I am watching her.

From there, I imagine another 100 years from now, when my daughter's great-grandchildren visit this place. I take joy in that thought. Everything will have changed by then. And people will have adapted. It's what we do.

Originally published in Rodale's Organic Life

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Seniors: Don't Take Away My Car Keys Yet!

Getting seniors to give up the keys to their car is no small task and, frankly, I am quite sympathetic to the seniors. After a lifetime of independence, it is yet another degradation they must endure as they age and their faculties wane. Only with this one, it can feel like a prison sentence, being confined to four walls.

While there are many seniors on the road that should not be, [National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) driving statistics for those post 75 years old attest to this], sometimes children of senior citizens are overly cautious in their 'drive' to strip parents of their car keys. There are professionals out there who can help assess whether or not it is time for that step.

Driving Rehabilitation Specialists are a subspecialty of Occupational Therapists (OT-DRS), but they could have a background in physical therapy, kinesiotherapy, driver education or psychology as well. Their clinical assessments include a review of personal medical history and cognitive ability and a functional/on-road assessment that keeps an eye on visual, cognitive, physical and behavioral impairments while driving on which they make recommendations for intervention in terms of vehicle modifications or specialized training. These assessments range from $200-$400 depending on your area and could include $100 per hour for any necessary subsequent service. The American Occupational Therapy Society can help you locate someone in your zip code.

Driving Skills Evaluators (DSE) are also trained, licensed and certified by the state and perform evaluations based on an in-car evaluation of driving skills and may recommend further testing with an OT-DRS or additional training by the DSE. Those evaluations run $100-$200 with additional hourly charges ranging from $75-$150. The Association for Driver Rehabilitation Specialists should help you understand the different levels of certification as well as how to find one in your area.

Family members must watch for indications of problems that might lead to possible harm to the older adult or others. If the senior has trouble seeing street signs at night, their reflexes have slowed, an increase in near miss accidents or fender benders, a history of falling or been diagnosed with a medical condition that could impact their driving due to diminishing vision, seizures, dementia, stroke or sleep disorders, it is a good time to visit the idea of an evaluation. An informal self-assessment can be found through AAA Roadwise Review or the Fitness-To-Drive Screening Measure Online through the AARP.

It is understandable that as children see more physical signs for concern, they feel awkward about broaching the subject with their aging parents. There are many, many resources out there for information about how to enter this new phase of life readily yielded by a simple google search. Seniors and their families should be aware that there are many options to take before giving up the keys and solutions to lessen the negative effects of a total relinquishing.

When seniors don't drive, most of the burden falls to the caregiver. However, for those who don't have a 'resident driver' or who can't rely on their caregivers 100% of the time, there are alternatives.
The following are different categories of services available.

1. Curb to curb or taxi services that pick you up and drop you off curbside and don't help at all with mobility aids such as walkers or wheelchairs.
2. Door to door car services that pick you up and drop you off, but don't get out of the car to assist you with entering and exiting the car. Again, they may not want to help you with any walking aids or wheelchairs.
3. Door through door services that provide a full service of helping you in and out of the car or van and help you with whatever you need including groceries and packages.

As more and more Baby Boomers relinquish their licenses, they will need more services to fill this needs gap. Certain companies like the for-profit SilverRide and the not-for-profit Independent Transportation Network of America (ITN America) are available only in specific states.

Seniors in New York rely on a mix of private car services, government subsidized programs and community and religious organizations to supplement transportation needs. The New York City Department for the Aging can provide transportation services through listed senior centers. Information regarding Access-A-Ride, a subsidized door-to-door transportation service available 24/7 to those eligible can also be obtained there. Manhattan residents can take advantage of the Community Arranged Resident Transportation (CART) Project funded by that department which provides free transportation service to the frail elderly five days a week.

It's all about keeping everyone safe. According to the AAA, the highest fatal car accidents occur in two distinct age groups - teenagers and those 75 and older. The difference is that seniors are far less likely to survive these car crashes, not to mention the harm that can be inflicted upon others. They are more fragile and don't bounce back from injuries well at all.

On the other hand, until the age of 65, the accident rates of older adults mirror those who are middle aged. In order to ensure that seniors continue driving safely for as long as possible, we need to educate them about the warning signs and plan for the various options for maintaining their independence.


Anita Kamiel, R.N, M.P.S. is the founder and owner of David York Home Healthcare Agency and is fully acquainted with all factors related to eldercare services and the latest guidelines for seniors. Thirty years ago, she realized the need for affordable, quality home health aide services provided and supervised by caring individuals. You can contact her at 718.376.7755 or at http://ift.tt/1O9RzNr. David York Agency is also on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and LinkedIn.

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Dolce Suono Ensemble's Dynamic Musical Diversity

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(courtesy DSE)

Flutist Mimi Stillman was training at the prestigious Curtis Institute of Music when she started performing informal concerts with her music colleagues at the University of Pennsylvania, where she was concurrently a history major. The informal concerts were so well attended they were too big for the intimate space that Penn had provided.

After graduating, Stillman embarked on a successful concert career that was taking her around the world, but she missed performing in those intimate chamber settings, so in 2005 Stillman established Dolce Suono Ensemble, now considered as one of the most dynamic chamber groups in the US.

The soloist now divides her time as in-demand concert soloist and artistic director and musician in Dolce Suono. "After Curtis, I was on the roster of Young Concert artists' (check quote) circuit and traveling a lot, with great representation." Stillman and her mother Ronnie Gordon (DSE's board chairwoman) talked about the goals of DSE in their home in the Fairmount section of Philadelphia. "When my mom suggested that I start an ensemble, I didn't think it would grow as much as it has," Mimi said.

DSE has covered a lot of musical ground in a decade, have recorded six albums. Stillman is a champion of new music and has commissioned over 40 new works. Her regular pool of musicians/collaborators are among the new generation of musicians building new audiences- with classic repertoire, contemporary orchestral music and crossover genres.

Last month, Stillman concluded her 11th season with a concert that was exemplar of their musical range. Performing in Curtis's acoustically excellent Gould Hall with her program Musica en tus Manos/The Americas Project, a substantive mix of Latin classicism, contemporary fusion and two premieres.

Joining Stillman were percussionist Gabriel Globus-Hoenich, bassist Mike Boon, guitarist Gideon Whitehead, singer-guitarist Pablo Reyes and pianist Charles Abramovic. The concert showcased a range of diverse music included premieres by Philadelphia composer Andrea Clearfield otherworldly tone poem Sagitta (about the constellation Sagittarius).

As technically precise as the ensemble is, there is also moments, Stillman notes, when "we are all improvising. Gabriel is our go to percussionist and arranger. He's a Curtis grad, with such rigorous classical training, but also so much experience in jazz and world (music). And Charles knows what I'm going to do before I do it." That performance immediacy gives Dolce Suono's concerts a rigorous energy that connects with audiences.

Stillman and Abramovic, the core players of DSE, have been performing together for 14 years, their stellar artistic clarity and chemistry is palpable onstage and is vividly captured on their recent recording "Freedom" (recorded in Gould Hall) a collection of flute and piano pieces.

"As a flute soloist my repertoire is much smaller than piano and violin, so I am always looking for new music," Stillman said. The curatorial flavor that Stillman has in her concerts is in part due to her history major background and her natural curiosity as a musician. "Freedom" was inspired by the life and world of Mieczyslaw Weinberg, a Polish -Soviet composer whose family was killed in the Holocaust and whose work was banned. "Weinberg was one of the victims of the Stalinist 'anti-formalist' purge, luckily he survived, but his music was repressed at the time."

"I was at the Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, when I was there researching for a concert about Holocaust related music in 2011. The musicologist there Bret Werb asked me if I'd like to see a facsimile of music by Weinberg that had been recovered in Moscow. I was so moved by the piece. Then to have the opportunity to reintroduce it, because we don't think it was played after 1948."

"Charlie and I did the US premiere in 2013, at the same time that we premiered the sonata I commissioned by David Finko who is another Soviet era composer who immigrated to the US. Then we saw the connections. So between the music and the story "that really inspired me," Stillman said. "We decided to do the US premiere in 2013 at the same time we premiered the piece I commissioned from David Finko, another Soviet era composer who defected to the US."

Philadelphia Orchestra cellist Yumi Kendall joins Stillman and Abramovic on Freedom for Richard Danielpour's "Remembering Neda" for flute, piano and cello. Danielpour composed the piece during the 2009 Green Revolution in Iran in memory of a young woman who was shot and killed during a protest in Tehran.

Stillman says that the music on the recording "expresses the themes of what the artists have gone through just as human beings under these totalitarian regimes," Stillman added, "you can connect with a piece of music, intellectually and emotionally, even if you don't know the story behind it. But then when you do know, it enriches the experience and understanding."

In addition to preparing programming for Dolce Suono's upcoming season, Stillman is about to go into the studio to record a new works by Pulitzer Prize winning composer Jennifer Higdon. She will also be spending the summer composing her cadenzas for two Mozart concerts for her upcoming soloist appearances with symphony orchestras. This will be her first attempt at long form cadenza and she admits that, considering it is Mozart, that much more daunting, but is looking forward to the challenge. Stay tuned.

for information on Dolce Suono Ensemble's 2016/17 season go to http://dolcesuono.com

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As A Poor Kid From The Rust Belt, Yale Law School Brought Me Face-to-face With Radical Inequality










This post is excerpted from Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis.


During my first round of law school applications, I didn’t even apply to Yale, Harvard, or Stanford—the mystical “top three” schools. I didn’t think I had a chance at those places. More important, I didn’t think it mattered; all lawyers get good jobs, I assumed. I just needed to get to any law school, and then I’d do fine: a nice salary, a respectable profession, and the American Dream. Then my best friend, Darrell, ran into one of his law school classmates at a popular D.C. restaurant. She was bussing tables, simply because that was the only job available to her. On the next round, I gave Yale and Harvard a try.


I didn’t apply to Stanford—one of the very best schools in the country—and to know why is to understand that the lessons I learned as a kid were sometimes counterproductive. Stanford’s law school application wasn’t the standard combination of college transcript, LSAT score, and essays. It required a personal sign-off from the dean of your college: You had to submit a form, completed by the dean, attesting that you weren’t a loser.


I didn’t know the dean of my college at Ohio State. It’s a big place. I’m sure she is a lovely person, and the form was clearly little more than a formality. But I just couldn’t ask. I had never met this person, never taken a class with her, and, most of all, didn’t trust her. Whatever virtues she possessed as a person, she was, in the abstract, an outsider. The professors I’d selected to write my letters had gained my trust. I listened to them nearly every day, took their tests, and wrote papers for them. As much as I loved Ohio State and its people for an incredible education and experience, I could not put my fate in the hands of someone I didn’t know. I tried to talk myself into it. I even printed the form and drove it to campus. But when the time came, I crumpled it up and tossed it in the garbage. There would be no Stanford Law for J.D.






I decided that I wanted to go to Yale more than any other school. It had a certain aura—with its small class sizes and unique grading system, Yale billed itself as a low-stress way to jump-start a legal career. But most of its students came from elite private colleges, not large state schools like mine, so I imagined that I had no chance of admission. Nonetheless, I submitted an application online, because that was relatively easy. It was late afternoon on an early spring day, 2010, when my phone rang and the caller ID revealed an unfamiliar 203 area code. I answered, and the voice on the other line told me that he was the director of admissions at Yale Law, and that I’d been admitted to the class of 2013. I was ecstatic and leaped around during the entire three- minute conversation. By the time he said goodbye, I was so out of breath that when I called Aunt Wee to tell her, she thought I’d just gotten into a car accident.


I was sufficiently committed to going to Yale Law that I was willing to accept the two hundred thousand dollars or so in debt that I knew I’d accrue. Yet the financial aid package Yale offered exceeded my wildest dreams. In my first year, it was nearly a full ride. That wasn’t because of anything I’d done or earned—it was because I was one of the poorest kids in school. Yale offered tens of thousands in need-based aid. It was the first time being so broke paid so well. Yale wasn’t just my dream school, it was also the cheapest option on the table.






The New York Times recently reported that the most expensive schools are paradoxically cheaper for low-income students. Take, for example, a student whose parents earn thirty thousand per year—not a lot of money but not poverty level, either. That student would pay ten thousand for one of the less selective branch campuses of the University of Wisconsin but would pay six thousand at the school’s flagship Madison campus. At Harvard, the student would pay only about thirteen hundred despite tuition of over forty thousand. Of course, kids like me don’t know this. My buddy Nate, a lifelong friend and one of the smartest people I know, wanted to go to the University of Chicago as an undergraduate, but he didn’t apply because he knew he couldn’t afford it. It likely would have cost him considerably less than Ohio State, just as Yale cost considerably less for me than any other school.


I spent the next few months getting ready to leave. My aunt and uncle’s friend got me that job at a local floor tile distribution warehouse, and I worked there during the summer—driving a forklift, getting tile shipments ready for transport, and sweeping a giant warehouse. By the end of the summer, I’d saved enough not to worry about the move to New Haven.


The day I moved felt different from every other time I’d moved away from Middletown. I knew when I left for the Marines that I’d return often and that life might bring me back to my hometown for an extended period (indeed it did). After four years in the Marines, the move to Columbus for college hadn’t seemed all that significant. I’d become an expert at leaving Middletown for other places, and each time I felt at least a little forlorn. But I knew this time that I was never really coming back. That didn’t bother me. Middletown no longer felt like home.






On my first day at Yale Law School, there were posters in the hallways announcing an event with Tony Blair, the former British prime minister. I couldn’t believe it: Tony Blair was speaking to a room of a few dozen students? If he came to Ohio State, he would have filled an auditorium of a thousand people. “Yeah, he speaks at Yale all the time,” a friend told me. “His son is an undergraduate.” A few days after that, I nearly bumped into a man as I turned a corner to walk into the law school’s main entrance. I said, “Excuse me,” looked up, and realized the man was New York governor George Pataki. These sorts of things happened at least once a week. Yale Law School was like nerd Hollywood, and I never stopped feeling like an awestruck tourist.


The first semester was structured in a way to make life easy on students. While my friends in other law schools were overwhelmed with work and worrying about strict grading curves that effectively placed you in direct competition with your classmates, our dean asked us during orientation to follow our passions, wherever they might lead, and not worry so much about grades. Our first four classes were graded on a credit/no credit basis, which made that easy. One of those classes, a constitutional law seminar of sixteen students, became a kind of family for me. We called ourselves the island of mis t toys, as there was no real unifying force to our team—a conservative hillbilly from Appalachia, the supersmart daughter of Indian immigrants, a black Canadian with decades’ worth of street smarts, a neuroscientist from Phoenix, an aspiring civil rights attorney born a few minutes from Yale’s campus, and an extremely progressive lesbian with a fantastic sense of humor, among others—but we became excellent friends.























I began to think seriously about questions that had nagged at me since I was a teenager: Why has no one else from my high school made it to the Ivy League?























That first year at Yale was overwhelming, but in a good way. I’d always been an American history buff, and some of the buildings on campus predated the Revolutionary War. Sometimes I’d walk around campus searching for the placards that identified the ages of buildings. The buildings themselves were breathtakingly beautiful—towering masterpieces of neo-Gothic architecture. Inside, intricate stone carvings and wood trim gave the law school an almost medieval feel. You’d even sometimes hear that we went to HLS (Hogwarts Law School). It’s telling that the best way to describe the law school was a reference to a series of fantasy novels.






Classes were hard, and sometimes required long nights in the library, but they weren’t that hard. A part of me had thought I’d finally be revealed as an intellectual fraud, that the administration would realize they’d made a terrible mistake and send me back to Middletown with their sincerest apologies. Another part of me thought I’d be able to hack it but only with extraordinary dedication; after all, these were the brightest students in the world, and I did not qualify as such. But that didn’t end up being the case. Though there were rare geniuses walking the halls of the law school, most of my fellow students were smart but not intimidatingly so. In classroom discussions and on tests, I largely held my own.


Not everything came easy. I always fancied myself a decent writer, but when I turned in a sloppy writing assignment to a famously stern professor, he handed it back with some extraordinarily critical commentary. “Not good at all,” he scribbled on one page. On another, he circled a large paragraph and wrote in the margin, “This is a vomit of sentences masquerading as a paragraph. Fix.” I heard through the grapevine that this professor thought Yale should accept only students from places like Harvard, Yale, Stanford, and Princeton: “It’s not our job to do remedial education, and too many of these other kids need it.” That committed me to changing his mind. By the end of the semester, he called my writing “excellent” and admitted that he might have been wrong about state schools. As the first year drew to a close, I felt triumphant—my professors and I got along well, I had earned solid grades, and I had a dream job for the summer— working for the chief counsel for a sitting U.S. senator.






Yet, for all of the joy and intrigue, Yale planted a seed of doubt in my mind about whether I belonged. This place was so beyond the pale for what I expected of myself. I knew zero Ivy League graduates back home; I was the first person in my nuclear family to go to college and the first person in my extended family to attend a professional school. When I arrived in August 2010, Yale had educated two of the three most recent Supreme Court justices and two of the most six recent presidents, not to mention the sitting secretary of state (Hillary Clinton). There was some- thing bizarre about Yale’s social rituals: the cocktail receptions and banquets that served as both professional networking and personal matchmaking events. I lived among newly christened members of what folks back home pejoratively call the “elites,” and by every outward appearance, I was one of them: I am a tall, white, straight male. I have never felt out of place in my entire life. But I did at Yale.






Part of it has to do with social class. A student survey found that over 95 percent of Yale Law’s students qualified as upper- middle-class or higher, and most of them qualified as outright wealthy. Obviously, I was neither upper-middle-class nor wealthy. Very few people at Yale Law School are like me. They may look like me, but for all of the Ivy League’s obsession with diversity, virtually everyone—black, white, Jewish, Muslim, whatever— comes from intact families who never worry about money. Early during my first year, after a late night of drinking with my classmates, we all decided to stop at a New Haven chicken joint. Our large group left an awful mess: dirty plates, chicken bones, ranch dressing and soda splattered on the tables, and so on. I couldn’t imagine leaving it all for some poor guy to clean up, so I stayed behind. Of a dozen classmates, only one person helped me: my buddy Jamil, who also came from a poorer background. Afterward, I told Jamil that we were probably the only people in the school who’d ever had to clean up someone else’s mess. He just nodded his head in silent agreement.



































It wasn’t just about the money or my relative lack of it. It was about people’s perceptions.



































Even though my experiences were unique, I never felt like a foreigner in Middletown. Most people’s parents had never gone to college. My closest friends had all seen some kind of domestic strife in their life—divorces, remarriages, legal separations, or fathers who spent some time in jail. A few parents worked as lawyers, engineers, or teachers. They were “rich people” to Mamaw, but they were never so rich that I thought of them as fundamentally different. They still lived within walking distance of my house, sent their kids to the same high school, and generally did the same things the rest of us did. It never occurred to me that I didn’t belong, even in the homes of some of my relatively wealthy friends.






At Yale Law School, I felt like my spaceship had crashed in Oz. People would say with a straight face that a surgeon mother and engineer father were middle-class. In Middletown, $160,000 is an unfathomable salary; at Yale Law School, students expect to earn that amount in the first year after law school. Many of them are already worried that it won’t be enough.


It wasn’t just about the money or my relative lack of it. It was about people’s perceptions. Yale made me feel, for the first time in my life, that others viewed my life with intrigue. Professors and classmates seemed genuinely interested in what seemed to me a superficially boring story: I went to a mediocre public high school, my parents didn’t go to college, and I grew up in Ohio. The same was true of nearly everyone I knew. At Yale, these things were true of no one. Even my service in the Marine Corps was pretty common in Ohio, but at Yale, many of my friends had never spent time with a veteran of America’s newest wars. In other words, I was an anomaly.


That’s not exactly a bad thing. For much of that first year in law school, I reveled in the fact that I was the only big marine with a Southern twang at my elite law school. But as law school acquaintances became close friends, I became less comfortable with the lies I told about my own past. “My mom is a nurse,” I told them. But of course that wasn’t true anymore. I didn’t really know what my legal father—the one whose name was on my birth certificate—did for a living; he was a total stranger. No one, except my best friends from Middletown whom I asked to read my law school admissions essay, knew about the formative experiences that shaped my life. At Yale, I decided to change that.


I’m not sure what motivated this change. Part of it is that I stopped being ashamed: My parents’ mistakes were not my fault, so I had no reason to hide them. But I was concerned most of all that no one understood my grandparents’ outsize role in my life. Few of even my closest friends understood how utterly hopeless my life would have been without Mamaw and Papaw. So maybe I just wanted to give credit where credit is due.






Yet there’s something else. As I realized how different I was from my classmates at Yale, I grew to appreciate how similar I was to the people back home. Most important, I became acutely aware of the inner conflict born of my recent success. On one of my first visits home after classes began, I stopped at a gas station not far from Aunt Wee’s house. The woman at the nearest pump began a conversation, and I noticed that she wore a Yale T-shirt. “Did you go to Yale?” I asked. “No,” she replied, “but my nephew does. Do you?” I wasn’t sure what to say. It was stupid—her nephew went to school there, for Christ’s sake— but I was still uncomfortable admitting that I’d become an Ivy Leaguer. The moment she told me her nephew went to Yale, I had to choose: Was I a Yale Law student, or was I a Middletown kid with hillbilly grandparents? If the former, I could exchange pleasantries and talk about New Haven’s beauty; if the latter, she occupied the other side of an invisible divide and could not to be trusted. At her cocktail parties and fancy dinners, she and her nephew probably even laughed about the unsophisticates of Ohio and how they clung to their guns and religion. I would not join forces with her. My answer was a pathetic attempt at cultural defiance: “No, I don’t go to Yale. But my girlfriend does.” And then I got in my car and drove away.


This wasn’t one of my prouder moments, but it highlights the inner conflict inspired by rapid upward mobility: I had lied to a stranger to avoid feeling like a traitor. There are lessons to draw here, among them what I’ve noted already: that one consequence of isolation is seeing standard metrics of success as not just unattainable but as the property of people not like us. Mamaw always fought that attitude in me, and for the most part she was successful.






Another lesson is that it’s not just our own communities that reinforce the outsider attitude, it’s the places and people that upward mobility connects us with—like my professor who suggested that Yale Law School shouldn’t accept applicants from non-prestigious state schools. There’s no way to quantify how these attitudes affect the working class. We do know that working-class Americans aren’t just less likely to climb the economic ladder, they’re also more likely to fall off even after they’ve reached the top. I imagine that the discomfort they feel at leaving behind much of their identity plays at least a small role in this problem. One way our upper class can promote upward mobility, then, is not only by pushing wise public policies but by opening their hearts and minds to the newcomers who don’t quite belong.


Though we sing the praises of social mobility, it has its down- sides. The term necessarily implies a sort of movement—to a theoretically better life, yes, but also away from something. And you can’t always control the parts of your old life from which you drift. In the past few years, I’ve vacationed in Panama and England. I’ve bought my groceries at Whole Foods. I’ve watched orchestral concerts. I’ve tried to break my addiction to “re ned processed sugars” (a term that includes at least one too many words). I’ve worried about racial prejudice in my own family and friends.


None of these things are bad on their own. In fact, most of them are good—visiting England was a childhood dream; eating less sugar improves health. At the same time, they’ve shown me that social mobility isn’t just about money and economics, it’s about a lifestyle change. The wealthy and the powerful aren’t just wealthy and powerful; they follow a different set of norms and mores. When you go from working-class to professional-class, almost everything about your old life becomes unfashionable at best or unhealthy at worst. At no time was this more obvious than the first (and last) time I took a Yale friend to Cracker Barrel. In my youth, it was the height of fine dining—my grandma’s and my favorite restaurant. With Yale friends, it was a greasy public health crisis.






These aren’t exactly major problems, and if given the option all over again, I’d trade a bit of social discomfort for the life I lead in a heartbeat. But as I realized that in this new world where I was the cultural alien, I began to think seriously about questions that had nagged at me since I was a teenager: Why has no one else from my high school made it to the Ivy League? Why are people like me so poorly represented in America’s elite institutions? Why is domestic strife so common in families like mine? Why did I think that places like Yale and Harvard were so unreachable? Why did successful people feel so different?


This post is excerpted from Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis.


















































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Healthiest McDonald's Happy Meal Menu Items

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Enjoying a McDonald's Happy Meal is one of the great childhood memories for many of us, because not only did it come in that awesome box, not only was it full of food just for us, it also contained an awesome toy. Over the years, McDonald's has taken pains to offer healthy options, especially for kids, and today happy meals come with the option of apple slices, a clementine, or low-fat strawberry yogurt as well as fries. Sodas are no longer a part of the Happy Meal; drink options now include fat-free chocolate milk, low-fat white milk, or apple juice. Looking for the healthiest options? Here are all the Happy meal options, sorted by main, side, and drink, and ranked from unhealthiest to healthiest, from a calorie standpoint.

Main

#3 Cheeseburger
Calories: 290
Fat: 11 Grams
Sodium: 680 milligrams

#2 Hamburger
Calories: 240
Fat: 8 Grams
Sodium: 480 milligrams

#1 Four-Piece Chicken McNuggets
Calories: 190
Fat: 12 Grams
Sodium: 360 milligrams

Sides

#4 Kids Fries
Calories: 110
Fat: 5 Grams
Sodium: 65 milligrams

#3 Yogurt
Calories: 50
Fat: .5 Grams
Sodium: 35 milligrams

#2 Clementine
Calories: 40
Fat: .25 Grams
Sodium: 0 milligrams

#1 Apple Slices
Calories: 15
Fat: 0 Grams
Sodium: 0 milligrams

Drinks

#3 Chocolate Milk
Calories: 130
Fat: 0 Grams
Sodium: 135 milligrams

#2 Low-Fat Milk
Calories: 100
Fat: 2.5 Grams
Sodium: 125 milligrams

#1 Apple Juice
Calories: 80
Fat: 0 Grams
Sodium: 15 milligrams

MORE ON MCDONALD'S
What's So Mighty About McDonald's Mighty Kids Meals?
What Was On McDonald's Original Menu?
11 Things You Didn't Know About McDonald's
McDonald's Biggest Menu Flops

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The Unhealthiest Diner Foods In America

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Diners aren't exactly known for their healthy options, and tend to be loaded with gut-busting breakfast items, which can pack far more of a caloric punch than you may imagine, as well as other unhealthy options like burgers and fried foods. While it's difficult to gauge the exact calorie count of foods served at the nation's diners, we are able to look at the calories of menu items at Denny's, "America's Diner," and can round up the five unhealthiest types of foods that you can find there. Here are five menu items that can boast more than 1,000 calories.

Milkshakes
Milkshakes are a diner staple, but are also extremely unhealthy, as you might imagine when you're putting ice cream, whole milk, and Oreos in a blender. You'd be hard-pressed to find a milkshake that contains less than 750 calories, and some go all the way up to 1,500.

Breakfast Platters
A couple pancakes may be full of carbs, but it's something that can be worked off by raking some leaves. When paired with cheesy eggs, bacon, sausage, and hash browns, however, you're asking for a serious calorie and cholesterol bomb that even hours at the gym won't work through.

Meat Lover's Omelettes
Most diner omelettes contain upwards of four eggs, but can still be moderately healthy if loaded with vegetables (egg whites are even better). But once you start adding in cheese and meats like bacon, ham, and sausage, the calorie counts go off the charts.

Burgers
A quarter-pound beef patty isn't that bad for you, but most diners serve half-pounders, topped with bacon, cheese, and other unhealthy toppings. Pair that with a side of fries and you're pushing 1,500 calories.

Chicken Fingers
A basket of anything fried isn't going to be healthy, and chicken fingers are definitely in that camp. Without fries, a basket can contain upwards of 800 calories. Make it a platter with fries, and you're looking at about 1,300 calories.

MORE ON DINERS
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Morning Digest: GOP reserves $2.5 million in airtime for under-the-radar Missouri Senate race

Leading Off:

Senate: The conservative group Senate Leadership Fund, which is close to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, has announced about $40 million in fall TV reservations. New Hampshire is getting the most cash, with $15.8 million going to boost Sen. Kelly Ayotte. As Andrea Drusch points out, the Koch brothers have refused to help Ayotte, so SLF is likely trying to fill the void.

The group has also announced that they've reserved $8.1 million in Ohio, $6 million in Nevada (the only Democratic-held seat on the list), $6.2 million in Pennsylvania, and $2.5 million in Missouri. While Florida was not included, SLF says they'll be spending heavily to help GOP incumbent Marco Rubio.

The Missouri investment is particularly notable. There haven't been many polls here, but GOP incumbent Roy Blunt looks like the clear favorite against Secretary of State Jason Kander in this conservative state. However, the GOP group One Nation recently spent $1.5 million on ads for Blunt, so this move doesn't come completely out of nowhere. But Democratic Senate groups haven't included the Show Me State in their fall reservations, and Hillary Clinton and her allies haven't shown much of an interest in targeting Missouri's 10 electoral votes yet. That may change, but it's interesting that the GOP is signaling that they're taking this race seriously, while Team Blue isn't yet.



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Move Over San Fermín: There's Another Fiesta In Spain -- La Vaquilla Del Ángel

Playing With Possibility -- An Exercise In Manifesting

Setting a clear conscious desire to manifest what you desire around work, relationships, homes and life and then celebrating the results is brilliantly empowering! This exercise requires that you suspend doubt, limiting beliefs, worry about making money or being young enough, smart enough or educated enough. It requires that you open your heart to explore your dreams.

I promise that you will see them come alive!

I have asked some clients to post their success stories and share their experience in Playing With Possibility!



Are you ready to give it a try?



What you need to begin:

Uninterrupted quiet time to first sit and ask yourself some questions.
A preferred way of writing: pen and paper, laptop...your choice
An open mind and willingness to be curious, playful and creative as thoughts and dreams emerge


Here we go...



What does your IDEAL look like?

Companion / Relationship
Job (life work)
Home
Vacation
Other __________


NOW...


Imagine there are NO limitations
. Time, money, education, geographic location... whatever you need is available to you.



Imagine there are NO negative ramifications. No one is going to give you a hard time, you are not going to hurt anyone's feelings, your own fears and limiting beliefs are miraculously suspended!



Some questions to get you started: (please add to the list as you are inspired)



Ideal Work/LIfe's Passion:



Set an EMOTIONAL INTENTION: When you are engaged in your ideal work / life's passion, how do you FEEL? (use as many adjectives as adequately describe how you want to feel)



**Answer the following EVEN if the answer has nothing to do with making money...your ego mind will say "that doesn't count, I can't make money doing that..." Write it down anyway.



What are your gifts and talents?
What are you passionate about?
How do you most enjoy spending your time? (ie. working on a team vs. alone, doing research, talking to people, being creative)
What percentage of your day / week would you want to do each of those things?
What is your ideal work environment? (private office vs. community space vs. home office, in the field, your own space: store / shop / business)
What routine would work for you? (steady daily routine, different every day)


Now that you have your creative juices flowing...



Write a story about your ideal work day or week.



What time do you awake? What do you do in the morning?
When do you begin work? Is there a commute?
What does your workspace look like? Color of the walls, lighting, etc.
How does your day unfold?
When do you end your work day?


Finally...



How do you FEEL in this flow of working? What emotions do you attach to each activity?



Be open to what unfolds after you do this exercise.
Where have your expanded possibility?
How have you become clearer about what it is you want to do?
Who can you talk to about this?
What research can you do?
What are your next steps?


Ideal Companion / Relationship

Set an EMOTIONAL INTENTION: When you are engaged in a relationship with your ideal companion, how do you FEEL? (use as many adjectives as adequately describe how you want to feel)

What are your non-negotiables and must haves? (ie. non smoking, physically active...)

What are the attributes you desire in a companion: consider any categories that are important to you

Emotional
Relational
Physical
Intellectual
Social
Spiritual
Financial
Professional


Describe in detail how your ideal relationship would BE.

o How would you be together?

o What would you do?

o How would you face difficulties?

o Problem solving?

Step away from the exercise and revisit it a few times over the next few days...think about it, edit it, add to it. How does it feel?



Now take a leap of faith that THIS is the person and relationship that you will engage in and let the process unfold... drawing to your heart's desire!!



Ideal Home

Set an EMOTIONAL INTENTION: When you are engaged in your ideal work / life's passion, how do you FEEL? (use as many adjectives as adequately describe how you want to feel)



What type of surroundings do you want to live in? The city, suburbs, mountains, shore, country...
What part of the world / country do you want to live in?
What type of home do you desire? Home, apartment, condo
What does your home look like?
How many rooms? What size? What do you use them for?
What is your ideal floor plan?
What colors are your walls, how sunny is it, what other characteristics does it have (hard woodfloors, crown molding, lush wall to wall carpet)
Describe your kitchen, bedroom, common living space...?
Is it old or new construction?
How much land do you have? What is the surrounding town / city / open space like?
What do you love to do and how does your home fit into that? (biking, hiking, barbecuing, shopping, live music, museums...)
What does your outdoor space look like? Terrace, patio, gardens...
What is your surrounding neighborhood? Sound & air quality, driving experience, population...


How do you start and end your day in this home...in which rooms, doing what? What do you most enjoy about your home? What else???



If you are like me and considering relocating to an entirely new location, you may have even more questions to ask. If you are looking for a home in your current community, some of these questions may be irrelevant to you. These questions are guidelines meant to get your creative juices flowing, not limit you in any way.

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I Believe In Super Consciousness

You may not be perfect, but God is not basing your value on your performance. He's looking at your heart. He is looking at the fact that you're trying. - Joel Osteen

I believe in super consciousness. We have all experienced our subconscious minds in our sleep, dreams, and through our unconscious thoughts and emotions. I have been on the both sides of the game of life. I believe that I qualify to talk about the business of winning and losing in life. These are relative terms and one who looks like a loser to me might be a winner for you. It all depends upon where you currently stand in life and what your ambitions are. Again, it might also depend upon what area are you talking about to a person might be a winner in one area but loser in another. A winner is always part of the answer. A loser is always part of the problem.

The point I am trying to make here is the attitude we must have in life. I am talking about a new way of living a life which is really how our Creator wanted us to be. We were created in the image of our Creator each with a particular purpose and each one with their share of all the blessings life has to offer. There is an abundance of everything we need if only we have the guts to dream big and just go get it. That's where the winners and losers are identified. It is the winner that has guts to make something happen while losers just fall to the way-side.

It's easy to be nothing and to get by. It's easy to be a problem than a solution. It's never easy to reach out to what you can be and what you should be. So, why talk about all these winning and losing business? I'd ask you, why not? Why not live a better life? Why not set an example for other people to follow? Life is all about change and winning is all about making changes. So, if we are not growing inside, we are not winning outside. Losing doesn't take any effort. We shall automatically be losers if we do not do anything. The rest of the world will be far ahead of us if we let the opportunity pass by us. According to Einstein, Insanity is doing the same thing again and again but expecting different results. We must change some aspects of our lives if we are unhappy with the circumstances or people we are attracting to ourselves. If we want something we never had, we must become something that we never were.

Personally, I had to work hard on myself before the attitude of victory cemented on my subconscious. I had to re-program myself of the truths of my own being and how the Creator of the whole universe wanted me to live. I have learnt from successful people, sacred scriptures of different religions and my own experience with the divinity that Creator has endowed me with talents and abilities that are unlimited. I have discovered that we are meant to live a great life and reach out to as many God's creatures as possible. I have found that where we go, the divinity goes with us and anything we want to accomplish, we can for the divine power is always with us if we only care to seek its help rather than trying to do everything on our own.

Equipped with the knowledge that the Spirit of Creator is with me wherever I go, I have launched into a new life, I have given myself a permission of voluntary rebirth. I have given myself a chance to win, do whatever I want to do and be whatever I want to be. By leaving my old skin of failure and defeat, I have launched myself into a life of adventure, glory and success. I believe each one of us can win the game of life, have everything we want to have and do everything we want to do. Creator of the universe has made us in such a way that we must move on in our life or perish. All the experiences in our life good and bad come to teach us things that we must learn at the moment, apply the information and get on with what we must do. Each of us is here to perform the work of the creator.

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One More Time! Beating Their Heads Against That Benghazi Wall

Hey, what's two years and millions of dollars among friends? This one's worth another look...

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A 13,000-Mile Experiment in Extreme Parenting

Canadian adventurer Bruce Kirkby decided that his family was in a technology-driven rut, so he set up a grueling journey from British Columbia to Zanskar, a remote region in northern India. The dream was exploration and growth. The reality involved unexpected risks that made him wonder if the whole thing was an epic mistake.

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The Kirkby family leaving Zanskar Photo: Bruce Kirkby

The familiar roads of my neighborhood spooled out like black yarn behind the ambulance window; the lights of our family home faded in the distance. Arched atop a stretcher, I coughed up blood between shallow breaths.

Hours earlier I'd been in perfect health, or so I believed. That morning I'd skied 20 miles on nordic trails and lifted weights ­after that. But around midnight I woke up with searing pain radiating down my left arm. I prodded my wife, who called 911.

At the hospital, doctors and nurses ­orbited my bed, running a flurry of tests: blood samples, heart ultrasound, CAT scan. By the next day, a diagnosis began to take shape.

"You have pneumonia," a burly South Afri­can doctor said. "And a small pulmonary embolism. That's a clot in your lung. But there is something else going on. Portions of your lung tissue look like ground glass. Have you traveled abroad recently?"

Between halting breaths, I told him about our family journey to the Indian Himalayas. The three months we spent living with a Buddhist lama, sharing an eight-by-eightfoot earthen room. The wet cough the old man developed. And the daily injections of antibiotics I gave him in the rump--required for an illness that had started five years earlier and had stripped his weight.

The doctor's eyes widened. "I'd bet my life you have tuberculosis, son," he said, backing out of the room. "It's very contagious."

For days I lay there alone, listening to the relentless click of a wall clock. Nurses dressed like Ebola relief workers occasionally appeared to administer blood thinners and antibiotics. During those long hours, I found my thoughts returning to my young sons--Bodi, age seven, and Taj, three--who, together with my wife, Christine, and me, had lived alongside the lama, cuddled in his arms, and called him me-me (grandfather). If I had contracted tuberculosis, it was almost certain that they had as well. The possibility was too painful to contemplate.

Since the day the boys were born, we had been taking them on outdoor adventures. By the time Bodi was 16 months old, he'd spent a quarter of his life in a tent, joining us for sea kayaking in Argentina, climbing in the Bugaboos, surfing on Vancouver Island, and trekking in Patagonia. While Taj was still breast-feeding, we flew to the Republic of Georgia, bought a packhorse, and spent 60 days traversing the length of the Caucasus Mountains.

Now my world was upside down. Had the naysayers been right all along? Had my unshakable confidence that I could manage every risk been misguided? Had I just royally fucked up?

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Photo: Robert Harkness

For decades my work as a writer and pho­tographer has taken me on long wilderness journeys. When kids arrived, it seemed natural to pack them along, too, but in doing so, Christine and I were unwittingly choosing sides in a contentious modern debate about how to gauge and manage "child appropriate" risk. In Canada, where I live, the trend toward helicopter parenting has had sobering effects. In the space of a generation, the physical radius of play for the average nine-year-old has declined by 90 percent. Today less than a quarter of our kids walk to school. Only 7 percent meet daily physical-­activity recommendations, much less set out on challenging multi-week trips.


While our boys' safety has always been a foremost concern, causing us to ease up on our ambitions, there's no doubt that we've pushed the boundaries. When Bodi was four, he and I packed goats along Utah's Highline Trail: 100 miles, most of it above 10,000 feet. When Taj was two, our family chartered a bush plane and paddled the Churchill River in northern Saskatchewan.

To those who questioned our ­choices, I trotted out standard arguments about the character benefits of facing rigorous challenges, the intrinsic value of sleeping under the stars, and even the improved immunity that comes with ingesting a bit of dirt. But in retrospect, the real reason I planned such long, challenging journeys was selfish: I yearned for the wilderness myself.

Whatever the original motive, these trips were good for our family. Unplugging from the distractions of modern life allowed us to connect with our boys in ways we could never replicate at home, where something ­always needed doing. In particular, the horse-­trekking journey across Georgia--sweltering, exhausting, and skirting a war zone--had a profound impact, probably ­because of its
duration. For a full year after returning home, our family savored a closeness previously unimagined.

But such glories fade, and old habits return. It was during the depths of a British Columbia winter that I sat at our kitchen ­table shoveling Cheerios into my mouth while mindlessly scrolling through Facebook posts on my phone.

"Dad!" Bodi screamed. "Did you hear what I said?"

I hadn't heard a word of what he'd said, and he was sitting right beside me. A busy life was transforming me into exactly the type of father I swore I'd never be.

For years, Christine and I had discussed the idea of taking the boys to live in a Himalayan monastery. It was one of those pie-in-the-sky dreams, something that might happen "someday."

She had studied Buddhism in Canada and was eager to learn more. Despite a reflexive resistance to organized spirituality, I was open to the idea. Over the space of a dozen Himalayan journeys--as support staff on an Everest climb, during an attempt to traverse Tibet's Chang Tang Plateau, and as the leader of photography tours in Bhutan and Sikkim--I'd always been drawn to the world of mountain Buddhists.

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On the road in western China Photo: Bruce Kirkby

After the Cheerios incident, living in a monastery suddenly seemed like the most anti-­modern, anti-distracted thing our family could do. Within days we decided to drop everything and go. "Someday" would be that summer.

Rather than fly to the Himalayas, we elected to go all in and travel to the other side of the planet by surface. To me it feels like cheating to cram into a plane seat, scarf down a quick dinner, doze, then wake up the next morning in Bangkok or Delhi or Kuala Lumpur--fabled cities that, just a century ago, took six weeks or more to reach. Airplanes diminish not only time and distance but everything in between. Blame it on nostalgia, but we had our eyes set on completing a long, slow trip that would take us from Canada to South Korea to China, then on to Tibet, ­Nepal, and India.

Of course, we faced the inevitable deluge of concern, doubt, and vocal criticism. Within days, attempting to find boat passage across the North ­Pacific threatened to thwart our plans.

"There is no way you'll get a three-year-old aboard," we were flatly told by a New Zealand freighter agent, part of a little-known cadre of people who specialize in booking passage aboard cargo ships. "Marine insurance covers passengers between the ages of 6 and 79. No one is going to risk millions of dollars of cargo to get your baby across the ocean."

Eventually, we found a German carrier whose insurance policy covered three-year-olds. We reserved four berths on a 66,000-ton container ship bound for South Korea.
Plenty of other worries seep into the mind of a parent planning a trip to Asia--traffic, pollution, disease--but none kept me awake at night more than altitude. The train carrying us to the Tibetan capital of Lhasa would traverse a dizzying 16,640-foot pass. Later we'd reach even higher elevations on the trek to the monastery. When I contacted a long-established American outfitter operating in Tibet, seeking assistance with permits and logistics, it flatly refused to help.

"Tibet is no place for children," a manager insisted. "We won't take anyone under 12."

I asked why.

"Because they can't acclimatize. Their lungs are not properly developed. Do you know who Peter Hackett is?"

I did. I had met the Telluride, ­Colorado-based doctor, who specializes in high-altitude illness, at Everest Base Camp during the 1990s. On my desk were two papers, one of them by Hackett, on the effects of altitude on young bodies. Neither said anything about undeveloped lungs or the inability of children to acclimatize.

If I were to boil down the advice contained in those long reports, it would read something like this: Go ahead, but be sure you know what you're doing, make conservative decisions, and always give yourself an out.

To my mind, this was an adage that fairly reflects how all risks should be managed--kids or not.

A few more complications to mention: the first was that a full television crew would follow our family, filming our 100-day, 13,000-mile journey, step by step.

For years I'd been in touch with a young Australian producer, batting around ideas for an adventure-based TV series. Every six months or so we chatted by phone, but this time there was a pause when I told him I'd be out of the loop while my family traveled to Zanskar, a remote region in northern India, to live in a Buddhist monastery.

"Hold on, mate--that's it!" he said. "The ultimate family relocation!"

TV pitches rarely find traction, so I ­quickly forgot about the possibility and carried on with planning: clearing our calendars, vaccinating the children against every imaginable malady, packing the lightest gear. Six weeks before departure, the phone rang again. It was the Aussie.

"Better sit down, mate. Travel Channel loves the idea. We got the green light."

Being filmed 24/7 would clearly affect our plans to disconnect, but because I'm a freelancer, I have a hard time ­turning down work. So I agreed, with one stip­ulation: we'd be left in peace upon reach­ing the monastery. I also ­suggested a single embedded camera operator, argu­ing that this method would ­allow us to move quickly and capture authentic moments.

"Sorry, but the network has a different vision," he said. "They want something cinematic. We'll have a crew of 16. There's budget for helicopters."

For the first time, I sensed we might be getting in over our heads. Which brings me to the second complication: Bodi is on the autism spectrum.

Unless family, friends, or work have exposed you to autism, you likely know as much about it as I did before Bodi was born: nothing. In a nutshell, ASD (autism spectrum disorder) encompasses an extremely broad range of neurodevelopmental conditions, with symptoms ranging from ritualized behaviors and mild social awkwardness to being severely nonverbal. One characteristic is difficulty recognizing the thoughts and feelings of others (empathy), a crucial and reflexive skill for "neurotypical" people. In the U.S., a recent study suggested that one child in fifty is diagnosed as being on the spectrum. It's almost certain that someone in your life is affected by ASD, and there's an equally good chance you don't know it.

Because early intervention can have an enormous positive impact on a child's ­future, Christine and I decided to disclose Bodi's diagnosis--a high-functioning form, commonly known as Asperger's syndrome--both on television and here. It was another risk, and certainly not everyone agreed with our decision. But at the core of our thinking was a simple belief: we hide the things we're ashamed of, and Bodi has nothing to be ashamed of. With his keen insights, razor-sharp memory, and painful honesty, he has changed how I view the world. As a parent, I learned that ASD is not something to be "cured." Rather, the condition is both a challenge that requires support and an opportunity to encourage unique talents. Our job is to gently stretch Bodi, over and over, helping him integrate into a society that will at times struggle to make sense of his behavior.

The important point here is that Bodi's symptoms--like those of so many kids with a mild diagnosis--include rigidity of thinking, a preference for routine, and avoidance of eye contact. And, after all, what's a camera lens but a giant eye?

The Australian TV crew arrived at our British Columbia home in early May. As they smoked cigarettes in our backyard, Bodi and Taj ­quickly became interested in these cool new people, with their tattoos and Chuck Taylor sneakers. Christine and I were too busy to pay much attention.

Two days later, a heavy frost covered the ground as we launched canoes on the headwaters of the nearby Columbia River. Before locking the back door, I turned off my ­mobile phone and tossed it in a kitchen drawer. Anyone sending an e-mail would receive an automated reply: Back in November. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Paddling north for five days, our family camped each night on sandbars exposed by low water, while a motorboat whisked the crew to a hotel. They would reappear before breakfast, taping microphones to our chests and hoisting heavy cameras. We did our best to pretend they weren't there, but like dogs meeting for the first time in a park, we slowly circled and tested boundaries.

On the third morning, the crew raced ahead to set up a shot, then dropped their bait as our canoe drifted past. "There are storm clouds on the horizon! What are you gonna do?" a producer asked.

"Uh, put on jackets and keep paddling?" Crestfallen looks made it clear that I'd let them down.

Thankfully, Bodi and Taj were mostly ­immune to the cameras, and the experience was not nearly as intrusive as I'd imagined. In many ways, it felt like we were on a gigantic college road trip--halfway around the world, with kids.

Upon reaching the trans-Canadian rail line, we stashed the canoes and caught a train to Vancouver, where a wobbly gangplank led us aboard the cargo ship. The rigid routine of life at sea suited Bodi perfectly: a family walk around the ship's perimeter at dawn, lunch with the captain at noon, evening meals with the Filipino crew. Seventeen days later, we made landfall at Busan, South Korea. Transitioning to more visually impressive forms of transport--trains and river­boats, ­tuk-tuks and ferries--we continued westward into China.

Taj briefly fell ill in Qinghai province, just as we began acclimatizing to higher altitudes. Taking a day's rest, we monitored his oxygen saturation, and he quickly bounced back. By the time our train lumbered over Tanggu La, a pass into Tibet, the boys were racing up and down the aisles, dodging Chinese tourists, who--having been dragged straight from sea level in Beijing--were collapsing in pools of vomit.

The route forward took us down into ­Nepal, across India's great northern plains, and finally into the foothills of the Himalaya Range, on a narrow-gauge railway that carried us up to misty Shimla. Eighty-eight days after we'd left home, a jeep dropped us at a lonesome police checkpoint north of Darcha, on the Leh-Manali Highway, in northern India. From there we set out by foot toward Zanskar.

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Taj in Lama Wangyal's kitchen. Photo: Bruce Kirkby

Sitting in the rain shadow of the Hima­layas surrounded by 20,000-foot summits, the Zanskar region is defined by the union of two rivers, the Stod and the Tsarap, whose combined waters--after running through a broad, idyllic valley--carve a near impassable gorge on their journey toward the Indus.


There is no easy way in or out. Histor­i­cally, reaching Zanskar required navigating high mountain passes during summer or tiptoeing through the frozen gorge in winter. That all changed when the Indian army carved a dirt track in from the north during the 1970s. But the route remains open for just a few months each summer, and rather than suffer a jarring 60-hour bus ride, we chose to walk.

Following ancient footpaths, we crossed the spine of the Himalayas. Both boys raced happily along, brandishing their walking sticks, until they grew tired and climbed into child carriers; Bodi on my back, Taj atop a porter. At night we shoehorned ­together into a tiny tent. After five days, we entered a maze of dry gorges where even a toe-high sprig of grass was a rarity. Eventually, the valley broadened and villages sprang up, the sturdy mud-bricked homes surrounded by fields of ripening barley sustained by ­irrigation canals stretching from the glaciers above.

It was late in the afternoon on our eighth day of trekking that we caught sight of Karsha monastery, a Buddhist compound whose warren of whitewashed temples were plastered on cliffs steeper than any black-­diamond ski run. At their base, a tall, craggy man in maroon robes waited silently.

Five years earlier, when two Canadian friends of mine were caught by a freak snowstorm here, the head lama of Karsha monastery had offered them refuge and butter tea in exchange for a week of roof shoveling.

"He'd love your family to visit," they promised after learning of our plans. So we e-mailed the lama's nephew, a student in a south Indian city, asking if we might visit his uncle. Maybe stay a few months? Perhaps teach English?

Three months later came his cryptic reply: "Most generously. Problems are none." Our journey--and the TV documentary's big payoff--rested on that shaky foundation.

Now Lama Wangyal stood before us, arms outstretched, drawing us into a tight hug, whispering the traditional Zanskari greet­ing: "Julley, julley, julley, julley."

Clumsily, I placed a silken kata scarf around his neck. With his shaven head and bony features, his age was difficult to guess. Perhaps he was 60? Bushy eyebrows curled downward so dramatically that they touched his cheeks below his eyes, reminding me of ram's horns.

"Today happy day," he said with a gravelly voice. Then, taking our boys' hands firmly in his, he led us toward the monastery.


The next morning, our journey complete, the television crew took off. Tears flowed as we pressed beads of turquoise into their palms--sound technicians, camera operators, and producers who had been with us for 96 days. At the same time, it was a bloody relief to see them go. Bodi more than anyone had been challenged by requests to repeat words and redo scenes.

Christine and I often explain our strategy for dealing with Bodi's ASD by using a balloon analogy: We blow it up, stretching him and inevitably raising anxiety. Then we let some air out and return him to a place of comfort. When this happens over and over, his ability to deal with an uncertain world grows. But three months of filming had been one heck of a stretch, and he needed a break. Which is exactly what our time at the monastery turned out to be.


Days flowed into weeks, then months. We rose at dawn, summoned by brass horns to a darkened hall, where chanting monks sat in long rows and blue juniper smoke swirled in sunlight that cut down from cracks in the mud-and-stick roof. While Christine and I sat cross-legged, our boys played quietly with Legos. "Try closing your eyes and thinking about nothing but your breathing," Christine whispered to me on the first day. My initial attempts proved fruitless.

Every afternoon, in a barren classroom, we taught English and math to novice monks ranging in age from 7 to 14. Starved of affection, they piled onto our laps at communal meals and visited our bedroom every night, ostensibly to seek medical attention. Sometimes they were sick, but more often the young boys just wanted a warm hand rubbed atop their peach-fuzz heads.

Tentatively, our boys joined this feral pack, sharing their precious Lego figurines, roaming the monastery's paths, and exploring its desiccated cliffs. Set adrift without television or computers, cut off from the junky plastic toys that clogged their bedrooms, Bodi and Taj played with sticks and discarded bottles, silverfish, and dead birds. In the process, they became better friends than they ever would have at home.

It's easy to romanticize such a simple exis­tence--without running water or power--but we encountered depressed lamas and witnessed drunken brawls. One evening, as I brushed Taj's teeth, Lama Wangyal burst from his home with a thin stick and began furiously whipping a young monk hidden in shadows. The sobbing boy pulled robes across his face but stood his ground.

Oblivious to the commotion, Taj ran inside to kiss Christine goodnight before crawling into his sleeping bag. Not me. I felt ill. The boy who suffered the beating was a gentle novice who had skipped class to visit his family in a nearby village. Corporal punishment may be more culturally accepted in parts of Asia, but as I lay watching a yellow moon float up in the east, a line from Peter Matthiessen played over in my head: "The great sins, so the Sherpas say, are to pick wild flowers and to threaten children."

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Lama Wangyal. Photo: Bruce Kirkby

Lama Wangyal took sick during the second month of our stay, a rattling cough racking his entire body. Pointing to a faded Polaroid on the wall, where his craggy form appeared skeletal, he explained, "Five years ago, me too sick. Many injections."

What was the illness? He didn't know or couldn't explain, but the treatments had cost a fortune, forcing Lama Wangyal to sell two of his yaks. He dug out a box of syringes and vials from beneath his altar. "You needle me, OK?" he requested, squatting and pulling aside his robes to present a hairless buttock.

Over the weeks ahead, the cough gradually receded, and in a land where smoldering yak-dung fires heat homes and hacking can be a constant, the fleeting malady went almost unnoticed.

We stayed three months, until the first ­October storms threatened to close the mountain routes and isolate Zanskar again. Then we set off by foot, crossing 12 high passes in 14 days, encountering no one apart from a scattering of villagers. On the final morning, we entered an eight-mile-long gorge, the vertical walls pressing together until the sky above became a memory.

Then it was over. We rounded a bend and a concrete wall stood before us. Beyond that were cars and a road. Our porters were already on their cell phones.

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Bodi at the Karsha monastery.

Four months later, when two small clots lodged themselves in the outer lobe of my left lung and the doctor backed apprehensively out of my room after scribbling "TB?" on my chart, my first thought was of my boys. A shaky feeling washed over me.


In the study of risk management, there's a well-documented tendency to attribute near misses--events where only blind luck averts disaster--to our own good judgment. This can lead to a false sense of being bulletproof. Which is why experienced backcountry skiers are more likely to trigger a slide on a ­familiar slope than on unknown terrain. Had years of travel caused me to overestimate my ability to protect Bodi and Taj?

Alone in that sterile room, I replayed our footsteps over and over, plagued by a single question: If I could turn back time, would I set out on the same trip again?

People often ask if I hope Bodi and Taj will grow up to be adventurers, but such an outcome is irrelevant to me. I only want them to be free, to live the life they were meant to live--whether they become carpenters or concert pianists, homebodies or nomads, gay or straight, city slickers or country bumpkins. And the only way I know to teach freedom is to live it myself.

I remembered a gloriously warm afternoon during our return trip, when we were descending from the 15,480-foot Hanuma La. Bodi skipped ahead of me down steep switchbacks, knock-kneed and coltish like a young caribou. Then he paused and cocked his head to one side. As a gust of dry wind lashed his hair, I could see he was staring out over the sea of ice-capped peaks leading ­toward Tibet.

As I gazed at his freckles and clear eyes, a wave of love swept across me, an immensity of feeling I suspect only a parent knows. Then, on its heels, a fleeting shadow. Fear. I'd felt it before, that inescapable reality that something bad, even tragic, could happen to my boys someday--no matter what I did.

To love is to risk loss. One cannot exist without the other.

In the hospital, I thought of the impossibility of protecting my boys from lightning strikes and texting drivers and all the other random threats in our world. I thought of Bodi's ASD. I thought of living in fear. And teaching my boys about freedom.

And I realized, yes, I probably would set out on the same trip again.

Three days after I was hospitalized, a rosy ring failed to develop around the tuberculosis antigens injected under my forearm skin. Sputum samples vacuumed from the depths of my lungs confirmed I was TB-free. I was released from quarantine, and the unprovoked pulmonary embolism was written off as a fluke in an otherwise healthy middle-aged male. The prescription: three months of blood thinners, then carry on.

by Bruce Kirby, author of the books Sand Dance and The Dolphin's Tooth


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