For BRIDES, by Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW.
“He’s a really good lover but terribly insecure so I don’t tell him when I don’t have an orgasm.”—Linette
“My mother always told me to have access to my own money so though Jim and I have a joint account I have a ‘secret’ stash as well that I’ve never mentioned.”—Jill
“When we first got married he bragged that he was a great cook. Then he actually made me what he thought was a gourmet meal. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I said it was fabulous but I wound up going to the bathroom to throw up! Thankfully he doesn’t cook often — I’ve said it’s something I love to do, mainly to keep him out of the kitchen, except on cleanup. However on the rare occasions he does more than scramble an egg or brew coffee I still pretend he’s Bobby Flay… Ugh.”—Emily
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“It’s ridiculous but I’d have to be tortured before I admit to him that I get my lip waxed on a regular basis!”—Sandy
“I trust him but I still hack into his emails every few weeks—yes, I know his password.”—Pamela
“I start dreading visits to his mother weeks in advance. Ed turns into such a mama’s boy in her presence I find it nauseating. She’s also jealous of me—and makes mean, annoying comments like ‘Of course Ed doesn’t like beets. How don’t you know that?’ — to prove she will always know him better. I don’t say anything to Ed about my true feelings because he’s a great husband and I don’t want him to feel caught in the middle.”—Beth
“My college sweetheart came to town and I met him for brunch. It was the first time we’d seen each other in 10 years. My husband, Bill, had absolutely nothing to worry about—I loved and love him madly — and yet I withheld that I got together with Greg. Why? I’d made a stink when Bill asked if it was okay to see his ex-girlfriend so he didn’t meet her. When the same opportunity came up for me and I knew it would be innocent and how wrong I’d been to deny Bill the same option, I just couldn’t bring myself to eat crow. I don’t feel guilty for spending an hour with my ex — it was fun but meaningless, as I knew it would be. But I have sporadic guilt for going behind Bill’s back. Still, it is a secret I will take to the grave!”—Becky
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“I’ve been married nine months and I still haven’t brought myself to tell my husband that I can ‘t go to the bathroom until he leaves the house to go to work or the gym.”—Ann
More From BRIDES:
How To Find The Perfect Wedding Dress For Your Body Type
The 61 Best Celebrity Engagement Rings
The 50 Best Places to Get Married in America
The 12 Top Spring Wedding Dress Trends from the Runway
Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW, is a New York City–based marriage therapist and author.
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